There are two ways to approach the world we live in that determine our perspective. You can either believe that
the Universe is inexplicable and incomprehensible to us, or that we do in fact have the capability to understand the
underlying structure or meaning, to truly grasp the nature of Existence.
Those who would say that we can not understand the universe can have many convincing reasons for believing
so. Some might say that the human minds which we use to contemplate Existence are merely clumps of organic
matter which have formed randomly through evolution, and we can not know the meaning of our Existence
because there is no meaning. Others might say that an omnipotent being or a God formed the world and that we
are incapable of understanding his designs because he is of infinite intelligence and we are not. Finally some might
say that while there may be a structure to Existence that can be deduced through science, we have neither the
tools nor the mental capacity to do so. We are limited by our senses, and since there may be more to Existence
than we can sense, it is impossible to know everything.
However, there are those who believe as I do that we do have the capacity to understand the nature of Existence,
and we can do so through the tools of logic and reasoning. It may seem that this idea is wishful thinking. After all,
nobody wants to be forced to accept that no matter how hard we try, we can never really understand our lives.
We can never be sure that anything we do has the slightest significance, because the concept of Importance is
relative. Something of the utmost importance to one person may easily be of no consequence to anyone else in
the world. So without a definite perception of reality to measure our thoughts and actions against, how can we
judge the importance of anything? If we have the capability to understand the absolute nature of reality, to find
the Truth that exists independent of our own perceptions, we have the capability of attaching importance to the
things in our lives, and I believe that all of us have a basic desire to feel that things are important, that our lives
So when I say that there are absolute truths from which we can deduce the nature of Existence, I will admit that
this may merely be a product of my own hopes and fears. The structure of the Existence in my mind may wholly
be a product of wishful thinking, and my logic tainted by my perspective. There is always doubt, no matter how
logically sound and compact a metaphysical theory can be. How can we be sure that the rules of logic are
absolute and not subject to change? But if we accept the concept of hypothetical syllogism (if A implies B and A
is true, we can be sure that B is true) then we can take what we are given and deduce from it a sound theory of
the nature of Existence.
I will now meditate on the nature of Existence by finding what I know to be true and making deductions from this
foundation. I must start by finding a given. What can I be sure is absolutely true? At first I am tempted to believe
that I can be sure of nothing, but I realise this is false. Even if I can not be sure that there is a world outside of my
mind, I can be sure of my own mind. Even if I can doubt whether anything I am conscious of is real, I cannot
doubt my own Consciousness. That is not to say I cannot doubt the Consciousness of others; I can not be sure
that others think, but I can be sure that I think because it can not be denied. I must think in order to deny I think,
so such an idea must be false. René Descartes recognised this concept: Cogito ergo sum. I think, therefore I
am. It is undeniably true. It is Absolute, a given that I can be sure of.
The problem is that with only one given I can not make any deductions. All I know is that I am conscious. It
does not help me to understand anything else. Why do I think the things I do? Why do I experience what I
experience? Why is Existence the way it is? Descartes had the same problem, and his solution was to make an
argument for the Existence of God and deduce all he needed to from that. His flaw was in never getting past his
assumptions; he believed that because his ideas are given to him by God and God would not lie to him, his ideas
must be true. I merely wish to make clear that my theory makes no assumptions and takes nothing for granted
other than logic itself. If I can find that any deduction I make comes through assumption, I can no longer trust my
So how do I find the other absolute truth with which to build this theory? What can I be sure of other than the
fact that I think? The answer is equally simple: I can be sure of Existence itself. I think, but I do not think of
nothing. I think of things. I know that I am conscious, and I know that I am conscious of an Existence. There
appears to be a world that I perceive through my senses. Whether or not this world exists outside of my mind is
un-knowable, but it indubitably exists inside of my mind.
So now I know that I am conscious and that Existence exists. I must now clearly define these ideas.
Consciousness is simple. It is the means by which I experience Existence. It can be called a mind, a soul, or a
spirit. It is my true identity for I can not separate myself from it. Existence is more simple, though perhaps more
abstract. It is the only thing that necessarily exists due to itself. Existence must exist. The idea of Existence not
existing is a paradox. I know there is an Existence because I exist. If there was no Existence, I would not exist,
and thus could not be conscious nor think of Existence.
But I still need a clear definition of Existence. To simply say that Existence is what exists does nothing. I will then
say that Existence is everything I am conscious of. Existence is everything I experience. This is not limited to the
world around me. Existence is not the same as the Universe. I am conscious of far more than what comes to me
through sense perception. I am also conscious of things I have sensed in the past but no longer do. These things
still exist, but as part of my memory and not the world I sense. I can also be conscious of abstract ideas which do
not come to me through the senses. These things exist, but in my imagination. So Existence is whatever I am
conscious of at any instant, whether it is a sight, sound, smell, touch or taste, a memory of a sight, sound, smell,
touch or taste, or an imagined sight, sound, smell, touch, or taste.
I now have a solid foundation for which to make deductions as to the nature of this Existence I am conscious of. I
will now consider Existence and its necessary properties. First of all, I must decide whether Existence is finite or
infinite, and I will do this by disjunctive syllogism (considering both possibilities and finding the right one by
disproving the other). I am not inclined to believe that Existence is finite, so I will consider the possibility that it is.
If Existence is finite, that means that there is a limited amount of things that I can experience. It means that
Existence must have begun with an initial idea with which I became conscious, and will end once I become
conscious of the last idea. However, Existence can not begin or end. Existence must exist because it would be a
paradox for it to not exist. I cannot imagine a time before Existence, because anything I would imagine would
then exist. There may have been a time before the universe began, but Existence was still there. Even a
completely empty void of black nothingness is something. Just as Existence must exist, non-Existence can not
exist. The Existence of non-Existence is a paradox. Because a finite Existence would mean that non-Existence
must exist, Existence can not be finite. Therefore, Existence must be infinite. There can not have been a
beginning, and there can be no end.
So now that I have decided that Existence is Infinite I will return to my definition of Existence and add to it the
definition of infinite. If something is infinite, that means it is limitless. So I cannot limit Existence to merely what I
experience through sense, memory, or imagination. Existence, I will now say, is everything that I have the
potential to experience through sense, memory, or imagination. This means that Existence is all that exists or can
I must secondly decide whether Existence is Singular or Plural. This is perhaps the simplest thing to figure out.
Existence must be singular because there can be no such thing as a plural or separate Existence. Since Existence
is all that exists or can exist, there cannot be more than one. Any “separate” Existence is merely a part of the
same Existence, that which is everything in limitless possibility. There can be plural universes just as there can be
finite universes, but even two universes or dimensions impossible to reach from one another are both part of
Existence because they both exist. Existence, which I have already found must be infinite, can only be singular,
because by being infinite it includes all things that have the potential to exist. Therefore, there must be only one
Before I apply this idea of Singularity to my idea of Existence, I must ask one more question, this time not of
Existence but of Consciousness. I am sure that Consciousness exists, and there can be no Consciousness without
Existence, but can there be Existence without Consciousness? I imagine that I am not conscious and the answer
becomes clear. If I was not conscious, there would be no Existence to me. If nobody is conscious, there can be
no Existence. Existence and Consciousness both depend upon the other. Consciousness is a function of
Existence, and Existence a product of Consciousness.
So Consciousness must be singular as well. If there were multiple Consciousnesses, that would mean multiple
Existences. Since Existence is defined as everything I am or have the potential to be conscious of, a separate
Consciousness would infer a separate Existence, even if this Existence is completely identical to the one perceived
by the first Consciousness. I have already proven that there can not be a separate Existence, so I know that
Consciousness must be singular. Just as a separate Existence would merely be a part of the greater, larger
Existence, a separate Consciousness would only be part of a greater, larger Consciousness.
I now come to my largest conclusion: that if Existence and Consciousness are both singular and dependent on the
other, they must in fact be the same thing. Existence is everything I can be conscious of, and the only thing I can
be conscious of which I know must be true is that there exists only One Consciousness of One Existence.
Thus Existence itself takes on a Final and more absolute definition: It is a Consciousness of Existence.
Consciousness is nothing more than the self-awareness of Existence.
I can now come to a startling series of conclusions: I am conscious, therefore I exist. I have Consciousness,
therefore I have Existence. I am Consciousness, therefore I am Existence. I am not this body or this clump of
matter called a brain. I am a conscious entity, a part of the one singular Existence that experiences itself through
one singular Consciousness. Once I bring in the concept of infinity, the concept becomes complete. If Existence
is infinite and Consciousness is Existence, then Consciousness is infinite as well. I have the capability to be
conscious of a limitless amount of things. I have existed forever, and I can never cease to exist. I am one with
Existence, and though I am not conscious of all of Existence at one instant, I have the potential to be conscious of
anything Existence can possibly be. Put simply, whatever I can imagine can be true. My Consciousness is an
eternal phenomenon which is experiencing all that Existence has to offer, all that it can imagine.
So how do I get from an eternal, omniscient and omnipotent being to an apparent assemblage of substances
forming a brain and body? To figure this out, I will perform a simple thought experiment. I imagine that I wake up
suddenly in complete darkness. I have no body and no memory. I am nothing and nothing surrounds me. All I
have is my Consciousness. I am nothing more than a thinking entity that exists. I came from nowhere and I am
going nowhere. I have no purpose or understanding of any concepts inherent in a human mind. The only thing I
know is that I am.
So what do I do? Do I float in nothingness for eternity, never becoming aware of anything but the absolute
darkness that surrounds me? Or do I start to imagine things? Clearly, because I am a thinking being, I will begin
to imagine certain concepts. These concepts will be simple at first. I may label the darkness around me as
“black” and consider the possibility of other forms of darkness that are not black. I can invent the concept of
“white,” and imagine the nothingness around me to become this new thing. I have now created the concept of
difference. From there new concepts will arise such as the changing of black to white. The concept of time
arises as a means to allow things to become different. I can imagine that there can be more than one thing at the
same time. I can imagine that in the same Existence around me there is something black and something else that is
white. From that may follow the concept of plurality and the idea of matter. I combine matter and time to
imagine very primitive universes, perhaps where two particles come into Existence, meet, and then vanish. I will
imagine new universes with concepts growing from things I have contemplated in old universes. Each universe I
create is still a part of my Existence, my own Consciousness. This may go on for awhile until I discover the idea
of interacting with my own creations. I will create a body for myself with which to sense these universes and even
participate in them. I can even create two bodies which interact and participate with each other, imagining first
that I am one conscious body and then that I am the second. I can experience the same universe multiple times
from multiple perspectives. These universes become more and more complicated, but I am always aware of the
basic rules which govern them because these are the rules I have created for them. Until finally I come up with the
idea of temporarily forgetting the rules, and experiencing one of my created universes without realising that I
The only flaw in this thought experiment is the fact that imagination comes from memory. While I can imagine
something that does not exist, such as a white sky, this is merely the result of putting together two concepts that
exist in my memory, the concept of white and the concept of sky. This does not make the above scenario
impossible, however, because this being at the centre of existence does not think with a human mind. This being,
which can be called Existence itself, or God, contains all memory and imagination simultaneously. There was no
point at which it started to imagine things. Everything it creates was already created. It just chooses what to be
I now have the grounds for an explanation of the nature of Existence. I am a conscious entity, imagining a universe
of unbelievable complication, and I have chosen to experience it through a single mind that is divided in an
essential manner from itself. I can not understand the universe and all of the properties which my imagination has
given it, but simply by knowing that I am conscious of an Existence, I can understand the nature that exists at the
core of this universe. The universe is nothing more than one of an infinite number of creations of a core
Consciousness which I am one with. Everything that is conscious is one with this being, existing separately only in
its imagination. I am the same as you. We are the same as everything else. I am the being which Existence has
made conscious at this point in infinity. Everything else is conscious at different points in infinity, or at least has the
potential to be. Existence need not spend an entire duration of a universe as every particle or assemblage of
particles that it is made out of. None of these particles exist unless Existence is conscious of them.
So what does this mean? What is the value of this information? What good does knowing this do other than
provide for some peace of mind as to why Existence exists? How can I use this to deduce the meaning of my
Consciousness as this body? I exist in this space, in this time, in this life, but why? Does Existence just cycle
through an infinite series of possibilities? Do I live the same life over and over again repeatedly with only one
aspect of Existence changing with each cycle?
This scenario calls for a chaotic Existence made up of random experiences. But if Existence itself is what creates
the Universe, it would not make sense for things to be created at random. Existence must decide upon its
experiences for a reason. It cannot merely choose spaces, times, and lives at random. It imagines concepts that
arise out of other concepts. If experience came to Existence randomly, that would imply there is something other
than Existence to determine what it does, and this is impossible. When imagining myself as Existence, I imagine
that the experiences I create are chosen deliberately, and what motivate my decisions are the qualities of my other
I imagine that Existence has a shape. The shape is of a single point of light with infinite branches emerging from it,
spiralling around, and finally plunging back into the point of light. The spirals of light branching out from Existence
are the lives I live. The universes I create. The experiences I imagine. Each one takes me on a unique path, each
intersecting with countless others, but they all end up back at the core of light. Birth can be imagined as the point
at which these spirals emerge from the core and death when they return. Prior to and after death, I am one with
Existence, I am back in nothingness, and I understand every aspect of everything I imagined which has taken
place in that life. These lives, however, are not limited to birth and death, nor must they be tied to organic
material. Lives can be merely of spirit, floating through the created universe but without participating in it. They
can begin as Consciousness in a human body, and continue after the body dies. Sometimes the Consciousness
can understand the nature of the universe it has created, and sometimes it can not. Sometimes the Consciousness
can control the universe it has created, and sometimes it can not. Existence is infinite, so all of these possibilities
can be realised.
But since Consciousness takes on these human forms in this area of Existence, it becomes human. When the
spiral of a life with a human mind plunges back to the light, it does so retaining everything it was conscious of as a
human. It chooses its next life based on all it has experienced from its previous life. If I have lived a life of great
suffering, having no control or understanding of my destiny, when I return to the core and am able to choose what
my next life will be, I will probably choose one of great happiness, with complete understanding of what I have
created and the ability to control and change it. Conversely if I have just lived a life in a paradise filled with joy
and happiness, the next life I choose will probably be one of great suffering. This keeps Existence in balance, and
creates meaning in a meaningless Existence. My life now is the result of what my previous life left to be desired,
and my next life will be the result of what this life causes me to imagine or want.
There are no limits. I can be everybody that exists in this space or at this time, in a universe where the abilities of
man are limited, and I am nothing but one of a billion. In one life as a man I might believe that Heaven exists and
when my body dies I will find myself there although I shared the same space and time with a man I also am who
did not believe in God or Heaven. The world around me depends on what I believe because that is what I am
conscious of. I used to believe in God as a humanlike deity, and in that part of Existence, there really was such a
God. Just because I no longer believe this does not make it wrong, it merely makes it wrong now. I can not
judge anybody for believing in such a God because for them, such a God does and will exist until something
happens to change their mind. I can not do harm to any man without doing harm to myself, although when I am
the person receiving that harm it is only because that is at a point in Existence where I desire harm. I must give up
my conceptions of an absolute right and wrong because every injustice is committed by me against me. Morality
can only exist in my own perception, and I can trust that if I do what I believe to be good in this life, I can
probably reward myself in the next. The only true judge of my actions is me, and the judgment is different as the
life and the perspective is different. The Consciousness remains the same.
So there is only one thing left to do before I put an end to this meditation and leave with that peace of mind we all
desperately crave, and that is to attach some importance and meaning to the Existence around me. I can not do
this through logic, but that is precisely the point, because in order to achieve this peace of mind I must consider
how I value emotion more than logic after all. In applying my new perception of Existence to my existing ideas
about emotion, I come out with a deeper understanding of both. I believe that Love is an emotion that transcends
matter and the biochemical reactions of the brain…that True Love is something that reaches deep into the core of
Existence. Love is the One Emotion of the One Consciousness of the One Existence. All other emotions are
merely parts of Love, and to feel the deepest Love would be to feel all possible emotions at the same time, to
know all of Existence simultaneously. When we feel Love towards anyone or anything, we are feeling the ultimate
appreciation of the Existence of that person or thing—we are feeling Existence through them.
This makes Love the Purpose of Existence, and it is also the purpose of this writing. My point is this: Every
universe you create, every life you live, is just designed for you to experience Love in any of its infinite variations.
Your next life will serve to balance the Love in this one. Suffering will become joy, or happiness will become
sorrow. Whatever you are feeling at any moment is the purpose of that moment. Whatever emotions we
may have we should appreciate and not grieve over, because we have all the time in Existence to feel everything
else. We are all part of the same soul’s never-ending journey to experience Love in all of its infinite possibilities.
A Meditation on the Meaning of Existence
Kem Stone - October 2003