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Thank God for Newt Gingrich

August 2nd, 2010 Leave a comment Go to comments

I couldn’t get to sleep the other night because I was so worried that Elena Kagan and an army of liberal activist judges were about to impose the strict fundamentalist form of Islamic law known as Sharia in the United States.

But now that Newt Gingrich has risen up in defense of Western values, I can rest easy. Last week, the former Republican Speaker of the House gave a speech in which he called for a federal law to forbid all U.S. Courts from considering Sharia as a replacement to U.S. law.

Boy do I hope we get that law sooner or later. You know how these damned liberal judges are constantly trying to replace American law with all kinds of religious doctrine…

Oh wait…we already have a law to prevent them from doing that? Something like, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion”? Isn’t that one of those amendment thingies? Well, it couldn’t be too important if judges are constantly ignoring it….Oh, it’s the first amendment you say? The very first one? Well…hmmm.

Maybe we don’t need Gingrich’s law after all. In fact, maybe any group of Muslims actively trying to replace their local laws with Sharia would be thrown out of the courtroom, hunted down by mobs of angry Christians, and beaten mercilessly while the police stand nearby and laugh.

But I don’t know. Maybe this really is a threat and the secret cabal of Liberal Elites who run the country are so tolerant of other cultures that they’ll let their own culture be subverted to that of backwards-thinking religious wackos from the Middle East. It could be that come next Tuesday women will no longer be allowed in public without a full burka and stoning-to-death will replace imprisonment as the punishment for everything from theft to adultery. I can totally see Americans just sitting quietly by while liberal activist judges let that happen.

Luckily we have Newt Gingrich to protect us. Then maybe next week he can do something about all that Scientology being taught in schools.

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